Finding Joy (Love's Compass Book 5) Read online

  The kitten must have decided she was all right because she climbed into Chelsea’s lap and curled up against her stomach, purrs vibrating as the cat breathed in and out.

  “Just make yourself comfortable, why don’t you? Shouldn’t you be in a barn somewhere catching a mouse or two?”

  A deep voice to Chelsea’s left startled her. Good grief, for not having seen a soul all morning, apparently she was in Grand Central Station now. “That’s probably Patch’s kitten. We were able to rehome all but one of them.” Parker tilted his head toward the fuzz ball. “Every time someone comes to adopt her, she’s nowhere to be found.”

  Since Parker was standing, Chelsea had to tilt her head way back to see him. “Maybe she doesn’t want to leave.”

  “Could be.” Parker put his hands in the pockets of his jeans and studied something in the distance.

  The silence was odd. Not entirely uncomfortable. Chelsea cupped the kitten’s sweet little face in her hand. “Thanks for the tea. And the note.” She fought to keep her gaze on the small animal. “I doubt I’ll need any extra time off. My brother-in-law has a lot of family in the area. They probably have more help than they want right now.”

  “That’s good they have so much support.”

  Chelsea thought he was going to leave. Instead, he lowered himself onto a nearby rock and stretched his long legs out in front of him. What was she supposed to say?

  She studied his profile. His strong jaw appeared clenched, but relaxed as the minutes ticked by. The breeze blew his brown hair and the blue sky reflected in his hazel eyes. This was the most laidback she’d ever seen him, short of that small glimpse at the hospital.

  “It’s neat that you go visit the kids at the hospital like you do. I’m sure it makes a big difference to them.”

  Parker gave a little shrug. “I hope it helps them as much as it helps me.” They sat in silence for a while before he turned his gaze on the now-sleeping kitten in her lap. “She likes you. Maybe you should take her home.”

  “Oh, I couldn’t. I’m renting the apartment above my sister’s photography studio. She’d kill me if I brought an animal in.” Maybe a slight exaggeration, but Laurie probably wouldn’t approve. And with everything going on right now with Nicholas, Chelsea wasn’t about to place any additional stress on her. She ran a finger along the kitten’s nose. “She is sweet, though.”

  “Do you eat lunch out here often?”

  “Most days.” Anxiety squeezed her chest. “I hope that’s okay.”

  Parker nodded. “This is one of my favorite spots on the ranch. You have good taste.”

  Chelsea shifted to rest her back and the kitten did, too. “Are the new yearlings with the rest of the herd now?”

  “Yes. They seem to be transitioning well. They’ll all be fine once they figure out the pecking order.”

  “That’s good. I miss getting to watch them, though.” She paused. “This place is beautiful. I look out at that field and it’s like all is right with the world.” Too bad that wasn’t the case. She thought about Nicholas and then about her parents coming. That last one brought tension back into her shoulders. So much for the relaxation lasting long. She glanced at the clock on her phone. “I’d better get back to the office.”

  She picked the kitten up as she stood, petting the animal’s head before setting her back down on the grass.

  Parker stood as well, his hands going right back into his pockets. “Listen, about those files I wanted you to finish scanning? Don’t worry about those. I’m sure you’re just about sick of messing with them.”

  Boy, he could say that again. “It’s getting pretty old.”

  “Leave them be, and I’ll have them carted out of your office tonight. I’ve got a full afternoon today. But tomorrow, we can go see how the new longhorns are integrating into the herd. If that’s something you’re interested in.”

  The thought of having the opportunity to watch the longhorns up close sounded fun. “I’d like that.”

  “Good. I’ll be by to pick you up outside the barn at ten tomorrow morning.” He gave her a short nod and turned, walking away from her.

  “I’ll be ready. Thank you.”

  He lifted a hand in a half wave and left. The man was an enigma. His stride and the way he carried himself suggested he was not only confident, but completely sure of his place in life and with what he was doing on the ranch. At the same time, there was a thread of uncertainty when he interacted with her. Was it only with her, or was it with people in general?

  She had a feeling that uncertainty was relatively new. Had it come into play after his accident? She found herself wishing she’d had the opportunity to meet him two or three years ago. To see what he was like when he was roping. Or even earlier — when he was growing up on the ranch. She’d be willing to bet he was the kind of boy that was into everything. She imagined him trailing his father as they checked on the livestock.

  Yes, Parker gave the impression of someone who had had to overcome many challenges in his life. Which made Chelsea even more curious about him.

  Chapter Nine

  Parker had a hard time getting the vision of Chelsea sitting on the edge of the pasture out of his head. With the way her hair had draped over her shoulder and the gentle way she cradled the kitten, the scene would have made the perfect portrait. He could suddenly see it hanging above the fireplace in the sitting room.

  He shook away the thought. The last thing he needed was to imagine Chelsea in his home in any way, shape, or form. It didn’t matter how green her eyes were. Or how her smile somehow sped up the tempo of his heart, while simultaneously frustrating him.

  He was distracted and he didn’t notice Mom until she spoke just behind his shoulder.

  “Is everything okay?”

  “Yeah, Mom. I’m fine. It’s been a long week.” He’d let his guard down. He needed to be more careful. Ever since the accident, he’d worked hard to not give his mom a reason to worry about him.

  “I completely understand. Things are moving forward nicely for Kara’s wedding. Less than three weeks to go.”

  Mom paused as though she were waiting for him to comment. His stomach clenched, and he could swear the temperature in the room had jumped ten degrees. His date. It’d been the furthest thing from his mind since he’d last spoken to his mom about it. Where was he going to find someone in less than three weeks? It was better to deflect than broach the subject and nothing would swerve her attention like the bride-to-be. “I haven’t seen Kara much, but every time I do, she looks blissful.”

  “She’s excited. I’m certain I’ve seen her floating above the ground more than once.” She studied Parker. “Have you asked anyone to accompany you to the wedding?”

  So much for changing the subject. It was like wanting to move a mountain with a child’s sand shovel. “I haven’t. I still have plenty of time.”

  “Then I shouldn’t worry? About that or anything else?”

  He knew full well Mom would worry no matter how he answered. “No, you shouldn’t.” He leaned forward and kissed her cheek. “It’s taking a little while to adjust to being on the ranch again, but I’m doing fine.”

  “Good.” Mom squeezed his shoulder. “Your dad would be proud of you. I hope you know that.” She kissed him on the cheek.

  Parker tried to swallow past the lump that had formed in his throat. He didn’t trust his voice and gave her a nod instead.

  “You should get some rest. You look exhausted.”

  “I will.” He watched as she disappeared through the doorway.

  That he still appeared tired to others around him was frustrating. What he wouldn’t give for a full night’s sleep without nightmares. He couldn’t remember what it was like to be rested. It was crazy that, even a year after his accident, he still felt the physical echoes of his injuries.

  True to his expectations, he spent that night alternating between nightmares and dreams where he was almost certain he heard Chelsea’s voice. But it was always faint and
her face was just out of sight meaning he was never sure whether it was her or not. By the time the sky lightened the next morning, he was sick of trying to get any more sleep.

  Parker busied himself with the long list of things he needed to get done. Anything to keep himself from counting down the minutes until he picked up Chelsea at the barn. Every time he relaxed and let his mind wander, her face would appear. Often, he’d remember the hurt in her eyes when he berated her the other morning. Or that flash of fire when he’d angered her. But most of the time, it was the softness while she was holding the kitten and talking to him as if she didn’t hate him.

  He had no business picturing her face at all, though. And maybe that was what bothered him more than anything else. It was as though the woman was intent on exasperating him even when she wasn’t around, which was ridiculous. But it sounded good and was a lot better than analyzing the reasons why he felt that way in the first place.

  At exactly ten o’clock, he drove up in front of the barn to find her waiting for him. She was sitting on the steps, her cell phone in hand, and joy on her face. Parker rolled his window down. “Good news?”

  Chelsea hopped up from the steps, jogged around the front of the truck, and slid into the passenger seat. She held the phone out, and he could see the photo of a tiny baby sleeping, an oxygen tube taped under his nose.

  “They were able to take Nicholas off C-PAP this morning. He’ll probably receive oxygen through the cannula for a while. But it meant Laurie got to really hold him for the first time.” Her voice caught, and she focused on her phone, flipping through an album to show him another picture.

  The red-headed woman holding the infant was grinning. If Parker saw the two of them together in person, he wouldn’t have guessed them to be sisters.

  “That’s great news. I’m happy for you all. He’s a handsome baby.”

  “Thanks!” Chelsea turned the phone off and slid it into her back pocket. “I can’t wait to hold the little guy myself.”

  Parker wanted to ask her if she hoped to have children of her own one day, but it was an entirely inappropriate question. Instead, he drove the truck to the far side of the pasture where the longhorns were located. He jabbed a thumb behind them. “I’m bringing something for the longhorns. They know the sound of this truck so keep an eye on the pasture ahead as we get closer.”

  Chelsea leaned forward in her seat as she took in the passing landscape. They rounded a grove of trees. Parker immediately spotted the herd. The moment they noticed his truck, the whole lot of them ran. He pointed them out. “Right there. See them?”

  “Wow! Look at them go.”

  Parker stopped the truck near the fence line and got out. Before he had a chance to open the door for her, Chelsea was jogging around the truck to his location.

  The longhorns approached, dirt flying into the air behind them.

  “They know I have treats for them,” Parker said. “Wait right here.” He walked to the back of the pickup and retrieved the bucket of range cubes before rejoining Chelsea. “This is what they’re running for.”

  “It’s not because they’re excited to have visitors, then?” Chelsea grinned as the herd approached in anticipation. “They really are magnificent when they run. How many do you have again?”

  “There are twenty-two here. We have another thirteen in a separate area. Most of them are calves going through the weaning process and some steers.” Parker approached the metal fence and reached a hand through to pat the head of the largest animal. “This is Sebastian, our bull. He’s one of the first to insist on getting a treat.”

  Sebastian turned his head sideways and tried to stick his nose through the slats in the fencing. His horns clanged against the metal.

  Parker noted that Chelsea still stood where he left her but she seemed interested in the cattle. “You can come closer if you want to. Stay far enough back to avoid getting grazed by a horn.” One of Sebastian’s horns came through again, and Parker took a step backwards. “Like that.” He laughed.

  He had spent little time out here since coming back. There were too many memories of Dad. But now, showing Chelsea, it felt different. New. The cattle probably recognized the ranch truck and expected the treats more than anything. Even if it was silly, part of Parker hoped they somehow sensed that he used to spend hours out here watching over the herd when he was a teenager.

  “Is everything okay?”

  Parker hadn’t even noticed that Chelsea had walked forward until she was right behind him. When he turned, her eyes brimmed with concern.

  “Yeah. I’m fine.” He didn’t want to say anything, but there was something about Chelsea that brought the words out anyway. “I used to work out here with my dad when I was a kid.”

  “You miss him. Your dad.”

  The truth of her words slammed Parker hard in the chest. This was why he’d avoided the ranch. Yet, strangely, he felt closer to Dad right now than he had in a long time. He nodded once. “We did everything together. The ranch was never the same without him.”

  “Is that why you left?”

  Parker turned and pinned her with a curious glance. “You been checking on me?”

  Chelsea had the good sense to blush. She gave a little shrug. “I might have Googled your name last week.” The red deepened. “Or, you know, Googled your ranch.” The words stumbled over each other.

  She was embarrassed. The red looked good on her. She stuck her hands into the pockets of her heavy coat and shuffled her feet — still clad in those ridiculous boots. With the form-fitting jeans she was wearing, all she needed was a good pair of cowgirl boots and she’d really look like she belonged here with him.

  The thought kicked his heart rate into high gear. Where had that come from?

  Did he even belong here anymore?

  This conversation was diving into the personal fast. It was time to change the subject. “Do you want to feed Sebastian?”

  Chelsea’s eyes widened and her face looked comical. “Oh, no. I’m fine right here, thank you.”

  Parker shrugged. “You don’t know what you’re missing.” With that, he got a treat out of the bucket and held it out to Sebastian. The bull didn’t hesitate to stretch his long tongue out, take the treat from his hand, and munch away. Dirt and spittle were all that the bull left behind. Parker wiped his hand off on his jeans. It only took moments for Sebastian to stick his tongue back out for a second sample.

  Chelsea chuckled. “He sure likes those, doesn’t he? What’s in it?”

  “Protein, fat, fiber, and minerals. It’s a good supplement. We put salt and mineral blocks where they can get to them, too. But the range cubes are especially popular.” Parker took a handful and tossed them over the railing. Several of the animals crowded to get a piece, including two of the calves.

  “They’re adorable.” Chelsea was smiling at the calves.

  “I’d offer for you to feed them, but they tend to be more nervous.” He pointed to five heifers that were keeping more of a distance between them and the rest of the herd. “Those are the five that came in last week.”

  She studied them and frowned. “Are they choosing to separate themselves, or are the others leaving them out?”

  “This is a pretty common reaction. It’s a little of both. They’re doing well, but it may take a while for them to integrate into the rest of the herd completely. Most of them do. Every once in a while, you’ll see a group that remains independent — almost like a mini herd within the herd.” A brindle pushed her way forward and stuck her nose through the railing. “This is Sadie, our matriarch.” He reached a hand through to pat her head. “The black heifer calf is hers.”

  Chelsea edged a little closer, her back straight as if she were willing herself to appear confident. She stopped several feet away from the animals. Parker put a hand on her lower back and ushered her forward. Then, with a boldness that surprised even him, he took her hand and placed it on Sadie’s head. He didn’t expect the intense sensations that shot straight to
his chest at the contact with her skin. His heart skipped a beat.

  Chelsea’s hand trembled. Had she felt it, too? Doubtful. Surely the shiver came from patting the animal she’d been afraid of. He kept his hand over hers — telling himself it was only to ease her trepidation. Sadie shifted and Chelsea jerked her hand back. Parker missed the way her soft skin felt against his. He leaned down to get a range cube and gave it to her. “Hold it on the palm of your hand. Sadie’s gentle, trust me.”

  She took the cube and tentatively held her hand out. Sadie didn’t hesitate to poke her nose through the railing and curl her tongue around the treat, sweeping it into her mouth.

  Chelsea jumped a little and wrinkled her nose. “Her tongue is like a warm slug.” She shook her hand and then wiped it on her jeans before seeking the warmth of her jacket pockets.

  Did she have any idea just how cute she looked right now with her nose still creased a bit? Parker knew he was grinning like a crazy guy and had to fight to rein in his response. His thoughts flew to Brenda. She wouldn’t have stepped foot on the ranch, much less gotten up the courage to feed Sadie. He doubted anything but a pile of money would’ve changed her mind on the subject. Yet Chelsea had pushed past her fear… why? Because he’d asked her to? Because she was curious about Sadie? Whatever the reason, her bravery impressed him.

  “They have the kindest eyes.”

  Chelsea’s words broke Parker’s reverie. He had no business comparing the two women. Chelsea worked for his family. Worked for the ranch. But when she turned her gaze on him, Parker couldn’t agree with her more. However, it wasn’t the animal’s eyes he was taken with, but rather those belonging to the beautiful woman standing in front of him.

  Chelsea may not understand what goes on with a ranch, but there was a lot more to her than he’d admitted. He wanted to know more about her. Wanted to know why she was determined to keep this job, even when her employer was a jerk.